Arcana Amoris
by Ink-erPAINT-er
Summary: Terry Boot and Michael Corner both have only one secret from each other - they're both in love with their best friend. Terry is abused by his parents, which gives him extraordinarily low self-esteem. Can Mike convince his friend that he truly loves him?


**This story has fluff, angst, extreme child abuse, and slash...among other things I've probably forgotten. I've loved Terry and Mike ever since Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness by Thanfiction, and even though they weren't _together _together in his story, I still think they should be. I wrote this awhile ago but never published it here...I'm not quite sure why. **

**Next chapter will be up soon. Tonight, perhaps. (And by the way, to the awesome readers of Per Amore e Feducia, I will try to update soon, I promise! I've been up to my eyeballs in more plots then I can count - sorry!)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1: <strong>_**Caritas.**_

Terry Boot had a secret. No one knew this secret. No one. Not any of his friends – Su Li, Tony Goldstein, Morag MacDougal, Mandy Brocklehurst… Not even Michael Corner, his best friend.

Of course, Michael was the _subject_ of the secret, so naturally _he_ wouldn't know… It was just strange…he and Mike knew everything about each other. Everything. Except for this.

It was such a terrible secret.

He couldn't tell him. No matter how much it hurt to keep it inside, he couldn't loose the one good thing in his life. So Terry smiled. He said he was fine. He pretended to eat, pretended to read for pleasure like he used to, and pretended he slept. He used Occlumency to hide everything from Mike, and tried not to think about it. If he was being honest with himself, Terry knew that it was really _two _secrets, but one of them he could deal with. As long as he had Mike.

No one wants to hear that their best friend (of the same gender, no less!) has a crush on them. Okay, perhaps crush was the wrong word: Was completely in love with them.

Terry had always _loved _Mike, of course. They were best friends, the closest friends in Hogwarts, it was safe to say. That's why it was so wrong, Terry told himself when he first started to notice in Third Year. Not to mention...him.

He was…alright looking, he supposed. Terry had long blond hair. Blue eyes streaked with all different colours. But Mike was…Mike.

Speak of the devil.

"There you are!" Michael gasped, running up to the windowsill that Terry was sitting on. It was located in the top-ish part of the North Tower. Not the Astronomy Tower, and not the Ravenclaw Tower. The North Tower. And it was raining outside. Terry liked the rain. No one ever went up there, except for them. Perhaps, subconsciously, Terry wanted to be found. It would explain why he had gone to such an obvious hiding place.

Mike was clutching his side, panting. It seemed he had run all the way up the steep tower steps. Terry wondered why.

"To find you, of course!" Mike cried. _Damn, something slipped out, _Terry thought."Where've you been all day? It was a Hogsmede day, you know."

"I know," Terry said, smiling. The smile was fake, and Mike knew.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, sitting down beside him. Terry stared out the window. He couldn't look at Mike; it would be his undoing.

"You're blocking me!" Mike gasped suddenly, jumping back up. "You never block me!"

_You're never __**aware **__when I block you, caritas. _Terry thought. But on the outside he simply shrugged.

But Mike didn't buy it. Terry hadn't expected him to.

"It is _them_?" he said in a whisper. "Did you get another letter?"

Terry shook his head sadly. If only it was as simple as abusive parents. He nearly laughed at the thought of what they would do to him if they found out he was gay, but then he realized there was nothing funny about that.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

"Terry, you've been acting weird since we came back. _Please _tell me what's bothering you?"

They had been at Hogwarts for almost a month now, and, while most students were excited for the Twi-Wizard Tournament, Terry had been even more withdrawn than usual. All of the Ravenclaw fourth years were rather close; Terry, Mike, Anthony, Kevin, Stephen, Mandy, Li, Morag, Padma, and Lisa; but so far Terry had hardly talked to _Mike_, let alone any of them.

Mike sank slowly onto the ledge beside his friend and put his arm around him. Terry tensed horribly, and Mike was shocked. Had the Boots gone even _further _in their abuse this year? Terry hadn't flinched away from him since Christmas of their First Year.

"Terry?" Mike's voice was a whisper now. "_What is it_, amico?"

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Terry couldn't decide. On the one hand, he could tell Mike, probably ruin their friendship and be heartbroken, but on the other he could lie, tell Mike it was his parents, and try and hide it more. Neither option was acceptable.

It all hurt _so bad, _and why did life have to be so hard? Couldn't he catch a break?

Terry couldn't help it. He leaned his head against the windowpane and actually let a tear fall out, something he rarely did. He saw it camouflage with the rain, indistinguishable…except to Mike.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Not speaking, he lifted Terry into his lap, allowing him to keep his face turned away, respecting his wishes of privacy but not willing to leave him without comfort.

_I'll always be here for you, no matter what, _He pushed to him, making sure he was heard.

Mike could almost feel the uncertainty at that. It wasn't really _Yeah, right, _because Terry **did **trust him, but he thought so little of himself…

Mike cursed Isobel and Edmund Boot for the hundredth time.

"Terry…" he stroked his fingers over Terry's cheeks; not coaxing Terry to look at him, just comforting as best he could.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Terry had never wanted to tell someone something this bad in his life. He shook with fear more than sobs, not able to really bring tears up anymore. Eventually you were cried out, and that's all there was to it.

But there _was_ a chance, wasn't there? How did he know for sure that Mike would hate him? The question was, was it worth risking it?

_Mike…_

"I'm here." Mike reminded him, and only then did Terry realize he had spoken allowed.

Staring at a raindrop and trying not to think about what he was doing, Terry showed Mike his doubt, he fear that he could loose him.

He felt Mike's gasp against his head, the disbelief and slight hurt that it had come to this again. Terry felt guilt rise up for not trusting his friend, but he couldn't help it. He started to pull away, but Mike pulled him even closer, shaking slightly as well.

"Oh, _anima pulchra, _I could **never **hate you..." Mike whispered into his hair. "You're my best friend, the only one who really knows me..." (_Except one part...but that is different. _Mike thought to himself.) "Nothing you could say will _ever _change that. _Iurare_."

Terry almost smiled and, turning to look at his friend for the first time, Terry was amazed to see tears running down his pale cheeks.

"Mike...why are you crying?" he asked in a whisper, wiping them away with the pads of his fingers, momentarilly distracted from his Secret.

"Because you are, charité." Mike smiled.

Terry's heart raced terribly.

_He doesn't mean it, _he told himself. _Sure he loves me; he loves his _friend, _not some _laetus_ with a crush on him…._

And suddenly, looking into those deep brown eyes, Terry couldn't help it. He opened his mind.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Mike froze as his mind was filled with his own face. Terry was…but…

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

_I'm sorry Mike, I couldn't help it. I just – Mike?_

Terry opened his eyes and looked up at the other boy. Michael wasn't moving or blinking, and his eyes were wide.

_Oh no….I knew this would happen…._Terry immediately thought, not able to help it. He had blown it, he knew. This was it.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

But Mike was completely blown away. Terry's secret just happened to be the same as his.

He had been in love with Terry since the previous year, but, unlike his friend, he wasn't worried about loosing Terry. Growing up with loving (more like worshiping) parents and being relatively…nice looking, Mike hadn't had to deal with the isolation and pain that Terry had (except what he felt through Terry's own mind). Sure, most Ravenclaws (other than their year-mates) looked down on him because he was so good looking and relatively good at Quidditch, something that was frowned upon in the blue and bronze house.

He knew that nothing would drive Terry away from him, even if he hadn't felt the same way. Terry – thanks to his parents – thought everyone would end up hating him, one way or another. It didn't really occur to him that that would never happen, even though Mike told him frequently.

Michael was awakened from his thoughts by Terry squirming on his lap. Was he trying to escape?

"Terry?" asked Mike, tightening his arms. "What are you doing?"

Then he remembered that he hadn't answered his friend's thoughts.

"I was…I mean, you're….and now…" Terry stuttered, not looking at him.

Mike gently placed his finger under the other boy's chin, turning Terry to face him. What he saw broke his heart.

Terry was crying. His beautiful eyes were red-rimmed, and tears fell down his face again. He looked shattered, and Mike hadn't said a word.

Suddenly, only one thing made sense.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Soft lips brushed against Terry's, and he froze in complete mental and physical shock while Mike's lips parted over his, gently surrounding his bottom lip, then pressing back to both.

The brown-haired boy pulled back, his eyes dark and glittering. Mike smiled, then gently leaned forward a kissed away all of Terry's tears.

"I love you too, Terry."

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

He didn't stop. He kept stoking the boy's face, kissing him, pushing the thoughts towards him.

_Amo...__Semper..._

After a moment, Terry's thoughts joined his.

_Amare non numquam..._

_...Formosa..._

Mike felt Terry blush, and moved his lips to the other boy's ear, gently kissing around it. Terry shuddered.

_Amice..._

_Amoris..._

Mike was surprised at how natural it was to be kissing his best friend like this. Shouldn't there be some sort of build-up here? A gentle peck at first, then it takes them weeks to get to this point? Wasn't that how things like this – rare as they might be – occurred?

But it easy, almost _too _easy, to tilt his head just right, to open his lips just so much at first, then wider…

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Terry might have gasped if Mike's tongue hadn't been stroking against his. Mike was throwing thought after thought at him; He had loved him since third year, he didn't know how to bring it up, and – now Terry _did _gasp – Mike even showed him how he had made an Unbreakable Vow with himself to get Terry away from the Boots as soon as he could. An _Unbreakable Vow_, just for him.

And Terry knew that if he wasn't in love with Mike before, he was now.

Terry's hands grabbed firmly at Mike's waist, holding him closer, and they reluctantly broke away, both gasping for air.

Emboldened by the memories his friend had shown him, Terry moved to press his lips under Mike's jaw, gently sucking…

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

If he had been standing up, Mike would have collapsed. That _tongue… _

He reached up, pulling Terry away and pushing him against the window. He nipped gently on his lips, and Terry moaned. Two sets of hands started to roam, stroking down arms and chests, moving lower, and both boys were panting now…

Then someone cleared their throat.

Mike cried out as he jumped in shock, hitting the window hard.

It was Filch.

_Fuck. We're dead._

_Agreed._

"Well, well…" Filch said, sneering. "I always knew there was something funny about you two…and out after curfew, not even in the library…very un-Ravenclaw like." He paced back and forth in front of them. "This may even be grounds for expulsion…"

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Terry's face went very white. If he was expelled, there would be no escape from his parents…not to mention what they would _do…_

_It's alright, _Mike's thoughts soothed. _I have a plan._

_Of course you do._

_And I wouldn't let you go back there anyway._

Terry smiled.

Mike reached into his pocket and produced…a wand.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

"Aha, so you plan to fight back!" cried Filch. "Expulsion certainly, then!"

"I'm not fighting back," assured Mike. "This isn't even my wand. It's for you."

Terry looked at his friend in shock, but Filch narrowed his eyes.

"Make fun of the Squib, I see." He growled. "Oh, you'll get what's coming to you, Corner, mark my –"

Mike held up his hands. "It's a _Libellus_ Wand."

Filch gasped, his beady eyes going wide as he stared at the piece of wood.

"Is it – is it really?" he whispered. Mike smiled, nodding. "But – but they're _really rare…._not to mention expensive!"

Mike shrugged, aware that Terry was staring at him in astonishment, and – was that _pride?_ Mike blushed.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Terry couldn't believe it. Mike had gotten a _Libellus _Wand to the second most hated employee at Hogwarts?

_**TM*TM*TM*TM*TM*TM*TM*TM**_

**A **_**Libellus Wand **_**is something I made up – a wand pre-programmed with certain spells so that wealthy Squibs can seem to be actual wizards. It costs about a hundred galleons at the least, but Mike was given it by a rich cousin who was thought to be a Squib – when he actually manifested power, he didn't need it anymore, and thought Mike could find someone who would.**

_**TM*TM*TM*TM*TM*TM*TM*TM**_

"I know a guy," Michael told Filch dismissively. "You can try it, if you like. Works with the normal incantations – Stupefy, Wingardium Leviosa, Scourgify, Depulso, et cetera. You have about three hundred spells in there, but around two fifty they start getting weaker…"

Filch took the wand, clearing his throat again heavily.

"Well – yes… thank you, Corner. I suppose I could…overlook what I witnessed here….as long as you two got back to your common room immediately." He stuttered, attempting to say the last strictly, but failing miserably.

Mike smiled at him. "Your welcome, and thank _you._"

He grabbed Terry's hand and began to lead him down the stairs.

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

At the bottom, Terry finally regained his voice.

"Mike…Mike, that was…just…you're amazing." He eventually decided on, looking at his friend in awe.

Mike smiled, blushing again slightly. "I'll bet no one ever does anything nice for him. It's no wonder he's so…grumpy."

The walk back to Ravenclaw Tower was uneventful, unlike the past hour. As they approached, the door asked its usual riddle.

"I am wanted by many, hated by some. The downfall of leaders and swallowed by none. Seek me out and pain I will bring, for all men tremble before my king. What am I?"

Both boys frowned in concentration for awhile, and then answered simultaneously, "Pride."

"Precisely." The door said, and swung open.

The common room was dark, as it was past one and no tests were forthcoming, as was the circular boy's dormitory. Their dorm mates, Steven, Kevin, and Anthony, were all sleeping soundly, but when Terry moved towards his bed, Michael stopped him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, grinning.

Was Mike saying what he thought he was? He didn't think he was ready for that, not even with Mike – thanks to his father…

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Did Terry think that he would let him sleep alone, now that he had an excuse to hold him _all the time_?

But then he realized what Terry must think.

"That's not what I meant, Terry," he said quickly. "It's just – well, why should either of us be alone anymore?"

The resulting smile nearly broke Mike's heart and healed it at the same time.

**TM*TM*TM*TM **

In less than five seconds, Terry found himself lying next to Mike under the striped blue-and-bronze covers. A handy spell was cast, and both boys were wearing blue pyjama pants. And nothing else.

Trying to distract himself from the fact that Mike's bare chest was infinitely preferable to his own in muscular sense, Terry allowed a smile so wide it was painful as Mike pulled him into his arms, tucking his head under his protectively. That's when Terry felt it.

Mike loved him. Really, truly loved _him._ Not to say his other friends didn't love him, but Mike knew everything and _still _loved him. He was even _in _love with him, and now – Terry finally believed – Mike wouldn't ever leave him or stop wanting him. He was _safe._

**TM*TM*TM*TM**

Mike gasped at Terry's epiphany, tearing up slightly at the thought that he'd _finally _convinced him, Terry finally believed him.

He had gotten past all the Boot's blocks.

His arms tightened around the other boy, and he pressed his face into his long hair, both of them crying now.

_I love you…_

_I love you, adelphos…_

_Safe._

_You are._

Curled tight in each other's arms, both Terry and Mike fell quickly (thanks to the rather emotional evening) into the first truly restful sleep either had ever had.


End file.
